a long awaited new post

Due to the stresses of school and because my laptop has been battling it out with the IT program and Dell Technical Support, its been a while since I've put anything on here.  I will try to add more to it on a semi-regular basis, but that means that there will probably only be one post a week.  So for now I just wanted to log on to make sure this was up and running and apologize for not updating it.

a pointless memoir of my terrible morning

So this morning I'm in bed, fast asleep. Suddenly, theres a blaring noise in my ear: the fire alarm was going off. I  immediatly looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:55 in the morning. Lovely!

So I get out of bed and throw on a sweatshirt, put my hair up, and throw on some flip flops. I went outside my room and went down the stairs near my door (I found out later that if I had turned the corner I would have been able to see why the alarm was going off). When I got to the bottom of the stairs I made my way to the grass in front of my residence hall. First thing I say is a few hundred half asleep, messy haired, severely pissed off 18 year olds about to flip out over being woken up in such a way at that hour.

We ended up waiting out there for a good....40 minutes or so? It was freezing and I didn't have my phone, plus the lights frfom the fire trucks were in my eyes and it was making me even more mad. When one of the officers finally came out and told us we could go inside, we were all ecstatic. I think that if we hadn't been so tired we would have started a slow clap. But then, they had one more announcement: nobody on the third floor could return to their rooms, we had to go to the quiet study lounge.

As I'm sure you can guess, it just happened to be my floor that was not allowed to go upstairs. Great! So I go into the quiet study and all the seats are already taken up and people are actually passed out asleep on the floor. They kept telling us it would only be 15 or 20 minutes. Lies. See, that makes me mad. They knew it was going to take longer, so why would they tell us that? Did they think it was going to keep us quiet or something? Would it make us feel better about being there? Absolutely not. On the contrary, it made us more pissed when we were down there much longer than we were told to expect. It took an hour before they finally let us go. In total, the whole ordeal took 2 hours. I got back in my bed around 6.

Even though this really only happened a few hours ago, I am already able to look back at it and laugh. I was having such a nice dream (which I can't remember now) and then the fire alarm has to wake me up. I considered just staying in my room. Come to find out, some people did just that. They rolled over and said screw it, put a pillow over their head, and tried to fall back asleep. Bravo to them, man.

And another thing that makes me laugh is the reason why 700 people had to be evacuated. Turns out that some (probably drunk) asshole thought it would be funny to play fire fighter and use the fire extinguisher. It happened on my floor, or course. Its just, of all the things in the world to do to amuse yourself, why - WHY that? The police officer told us to tell them if we found any information on who did it. Please, if I find that jerk I will personally kick their ass...then call.

When I am waiting outside I start think about what would happen if someone had just been in the shower. How funny would it be to see some person come running out in a towel with shampoo in their hair worked into a fine lather or something? Or did what Ferris did and do a soapy mohawk. That would bring humor to the situation.

I know this was probably not interesting to read, but I hadn't updated this in a few days and I thought maybe you would find my misfortune at 4 in the morning laughable. Probably not. But maybe.

i can never sleep

Its 12:35 right now and I just got out of bed because I've been laying there for about 45 minutes. Normally I don't go to sleep that early, but I do have classes tomorrow at 9:30, and I do tend to have a bad day if I don't sleep enough, and that class does tend to put me to sleep if I'm the tiniest bit tired...so I really should be sleeping right now. But I just can't do it. I've come to the conclusion that unless I just can't keep my eyes open anymore I shouldn't bother laying down with the lights off. I mean, whats the point? I'm not going to fall asleep anyway. I'll just lay there thinking about something random. And that random thought will lead to another random thought. And that will lead to another. And that will lead to a random memory. And that memory will lead to another memory. And THAT memory will lead to ANOTHER memory, and ineveitably I will end up remembering something that really made me pissed and I will lay in bed tossing and turning and getting annoyed at something that happened months or even years ago. Man! I really have to learn to let go....

ANYWAY. Back to what I was saying, I can't sleep. Its still somewhat early for me, especially when you consider that if I did not have school I would most likely be going to sleep at 3 in the morning. But right now, I have a reason why I need to fall asleep, and I can't. I have been having these problems for quite some time now, and I have asked many people for their advice. Here are the most commen responces I recieve:

1. Count Sheep.
Tried it. And that would be a great idea. But see, I already explained to you that my mind wanders and I can't focus on any one thought. Therefore counting sheep doesn't work for me because trying to think about those cute fluffy animals jumping over a cute wooden fence just leads me somewhere else, and before you know it I'm wondering why that really arrogent girl in my career seminar class can't get over herself. (Or something of that nature.)

2. Drink some warm milk.
No, it tastes like shit. And why would that even help?

3. Relax. Just don't think about anything.
Obviously I would have done that already if I was able to smartass.

4. Watch a few minutes of TV.
Okay, this one actually did work for a while. I would just turn it on and usually some informercial would be playing. It would be telling me how my life would be totally transformed if I bought a Chia Pet, or that I could go from a fat miserable person who doesn't photograph well to a slow motion hottie walking out of a pool in just 3 weeks with 30 easy payments of $19.95!!! After watching these mindless advertisemesnts I would just turn off the TV and bam! Out like a light. But now? Nothing. If anything I lay there for hours wondering if I really should call that number for free information with no obligation...

5. Ask the doctor about sleeping pills.
I do not want to do this. Most sleep pills are habit forming, and I do not want to be on them my whole life. Plus, there have been tons of people who accidentally become addicted to them and they end up in rehab with all the crack heads and meth freaks. It may seem irrational, but I just don't want to take that chance.

...any other suggestions?

So the thing I will leave you with before I try yet again to fall asleep, is something I found on YouTube and I just wanted to share. These Tales of Mere Existence videos are priceless. I get the feeling that everyone already knew about these and I'm just behind the times, but whatever.

stupid homework...

Right now I really should be doing homework. But you know what - I was tempted to take one quick peek at my Facebook to see if I had any notifications. 20 minutes after I got back to my room, here I am. Have I started my math homework? No. Is it imperative that I get it done? Yes. Will I stop writing stuff for this pointless blog that I doubt anyone will ever see and just get it out of the way? Absolutely not. That means I'm going to sit here rambling for a little while, saying nothing and amusing no one.

So today was a very normal day for me. I am so happy to finally be able to say that. Just a few weeks ago at this exact moment I was at my job, sitting behind concession putting candy away and worrying about taking the enormous step into college life. Everyone here doesn't seem to want to admit it, but I'll be completely honest: I was really nervous. I could never seem to concentrate on anything because another looming thought about what I was getting myself into was always filling my head.

I know it may seem irrational, but cut me some slack - I had barely ever left Rhode Island. Hell! I rarely even left my town, venturing to the next town over was kind of a big deal for me. I just sat there, day after day, rotting in Westerly. Then out of nowhere its time to leave for college and I'm suddenly living in Massachusetts.

Its weird because college is something you are always thinking about. Even as a kindergartner my teachers brought it up from time to time. But it was always so far off in the distance. Even as a freshman in high school it felt like it was lifetimes away. That stretch of time made it feel like it wasn't real.

But now here I am. And believe it or not, I'm adjusting quite well. I feel more at home at this school in 3 weeks than I did at fucking WHS in 4 years. (I knew I hated that place, but until I came here I didn't know how much. But that's another story.)

I'm growing accustomed to the cafeteria food, the quarky professors, the mounds of homework, the 'yellow brick road', and the view from my dorm. I bought a BSC shirt and I'm actually happy to wear it. Not like when I bought all the stupid school apparel from our little business class because I felt obligated. I actually wanted it. I wanted to wear it around and show school spirit. And when there are sports games, I'm going to go watch some of them - because I want to. There will be no more forced pep rallys where I'm told to sit there cheering on the Bulldogs when really I couldn't care less. All I could do to keep myself sane during those damn rallys was think about the "Smells Like Teen Spirit Video" from Nirvana. (You know the one where its supposed to be a pep rally from hell and the gym is all filled with smoke and the cheerleaders are wearing the anarchy symbols....) So, in comparison to that, I'm doing quite well. Corny enough for you?

Oh, and one more final thought, Kanye West is an arrogent jackass who everyone should boycott for being a total douchebag to Taylor Swift. I don't even really care for Taylor Swift, but I mean, come on! She looked so sad and I really felt bad for her. Can he be any more of an asshole? That is all.

a few favorite movies

1. Wristcutters: A Love Story

This is a movie that many people have not seen. It has Patrick Fugit who many would recognize from his earlier film Almost Famous. Wristcutters is unlike any movie you have ever seen, I can guarantee it. It takes place in the afterlife, in a hell reserved only for people who have committed suicide. I know it sounds depressing, and at the beginning well....it kind of is - but as the story progresses it loses that initial sadness and even ends up having a very uplifting ending. Its labeled as a dark comedy and when you watch it for the second time you start to pick up on the humor. And it has the best ending of any movie I've ever seen. Just give it a chance. You can watch the trailer here.

2. 28 Days Later...

This is the king of the post-apocalyptic zombie movies. It puts all the rest to shame.

3. Slumdog Millionaire

This is the most touching love story ever.

4. The Nightmare Before Christmas

A staple for all us dark kids.

5. The Ring

Figuring out the mystery of Samara's life will make you want to go beyond the movie. And that's exactly what I did. I also suggest watching Ringu which is the Japanese movie that the American version is based on and reading Ring by Koji Suzuki.

So what do you think? Interested in any of these? Let me know.

allow me to introduce myself

Well, it seems logical that the first thing I write here should simply be a brief introduction.

I could easily sit here and ramble on and on about where I'm from, how old I am, where I go to school, and what career I have in mind, among other things. In fact, they seem like the perfect way to begin this blog. Instead, I will try to tell you things about my personality that really do define me as a person.

So to start off, I think that its important to know that I have two goals in life: to publish a book, and to understand people as a whole. I am fully aware that the second one will probably never happen, but I'd like to try all the same. That's what led me to choose the major that I did: sociology. Looking at society from a scientific perspective will definitely help me reach that understanding. As far as the book goes, being a writer has been a dream of mine since childhood that I have just never let go. I admit that I may not be the best writer, but when you have something worth saying it doesn't even matter. (Hmmm...I may talk about that more some other time.)

I honestly believe that watching movies, listening to music, and reading avidly are good for the soul. Seeing, hearing, and feeling the personal expressions of others is the healthiest thing that anyone can do for themselves. (Don't let those "health experts" tell you otherwise.)

I am a very out there type of person and things that are totally insignificant to one person can be fascinating beyond belief for me. I am the type to wear studded belts, a chain, converse all stars, jeans, and lots and lots of black.

I'm sure that as time goes on I will think of things to add, but for now I will let this information be.