Alice In Wonderland

Okay so its time for my second review.  I must admit, I feel like I probably should not be writing about this movie simply because I haven't been able to see it in 3-D yet (though I am planning to).  Still, seeing it as a good old fashioned 2 dimensional film was just fine with me.

To begin, I must say that I am probably rather biased because I'm a fan of Tim Burton.  Anyone who knows me could probably guess that the whole fun gothic feel of his movies is appealing to me.  I really haven't seen any movie of his that I didn't feel was beautiful and well crafted, and I love the odd spin he throws on his films.

Alice In Wonderland was probably his biggest undertaking because he chose to remake a classic animated Disney movie and create a movie based on the books by Lewis Carroll.  Anytime this happens, long-time fans are always ready to point fingers saying that the film does the original no justice.  In addition, the hype around the movie was enormous.  It was impossible not to know that it would be hitting theatres.

After ranting about wanting to see that movie for almost a year, I was finally able to go see it a few weeks ago.  I was not dissapointed.  I thought it was visually stunning (though admittedly would have been better in 3-D), and had a very interesting story line.  Tim Burton's best decision was to make the movie about Alice's return to Wonderland, and not have it be a replica of the original.

The characters were very loveable, and it seems like the Mad Hatter would not have been the same if not for Johnny Depp.  He was able to bring a believable insanity to the role, while still making the character oddly adorable and funny.  It seems like no other actor could have portrayed it the same way.  The design for the Cheshire Cat was perfect, and was able to make the CGI cat seem extremely creepy and less funny (like in the orignal).

I do however, have some complaints.  Because of the nature of 3-D, the sets were completely computerized.  I tend to appreciate movies that still use some actaul sets, and while watching the film you are very aware that nothing you are seeing is real.  If I was able to see it in 3-D, I'm sure I would not have this complaint though.  Also, I felt that the introduction was somewhat weak, and it doesn't start being interesting until she gets to Wonderland.

The message in this movie is about allowing yourself to dream.  I guess this struck a chord with me because I do tend to live in a fantasy world, which is not usually a good thing.  I felt that the story about Alice allowing herself to dream and believe the things she makes up in her head was very real.  Its a problem I think lots of people have to deal with, because that way of thinking really is not looked at kindly.  Its hard for me to not have my head in the clouds, but after seeing this movie, I felt better about my thought processes.

All in all, I definitly think this movie lives up to the hype and I suggest everyone sees it.  Do it.  Do it now damn it.

The Dead Girl

This post is rather delayed, but I thought it would be interesting to write a review about a movie I watched over spring break. In fact, I'm thinking about shifting this whole blog thingamajig over to reviewing books and movies, simply to give it a more clear purpose. This review will be something of a practice and critisism would be appreciated. I will still be posting little thoughts that pop into my mind now and again though...

So to begin, the film is called The Dead Girl, and included in it's cast is the late Brittany Murphy.  Her character, though the most important, actually appears in the movie very little - yet makes an unforgettable impact on the viewer.  Arguably her most dimented role, Murphy seems to perfectly embody the distraught girl who has clearly thrown up her arms and given up on life.  Seeing the movie now, after her unfortunate death, I cannot help but see this role as an eery premonition of her eventual demise.  This role, along with her portrayal of Daisy in Girl, Interrupted, seem to be played too perfectly, almost as if to say that there was no acting involved.  Her character of Krista in The Dead Girl may be one of her least known roles, but definitly one of her strongest.

The movie opens with a body being found in the middle of a field, and then follows the life of seven people and how they are affected by this discovery.  Most of the stories are not related and alter the lives of those involved very differently.  Each cast member gives a heartfelt performance, and each line is delivered in a way that truly moves the viewer.

What I enjoyed most about this movie was its ability to humanize a character that most people would look at in shame.  By the end of the movie you do not see the dead girl as being a murdered prostitute, but a girl who has a big heart and a hard life.  I think its a lesson that we all can learn from, because too often we simply shake our heads and move on when seeing these types of people. It is important to remember that everyone has a story, and everyone has reasons for what they do (no matter how wrong they may be).  Instead of looking down on these people, we should learn from them and try to extend a helping hand.  It is hard not to wonder how her life could have been different if someone had been willing to help.

The Dead Girl is definitly a movie I suggest people view, although I will caution you - it is very depressing.  If you are in the mood for a light hearted feel good film, this is not for you.  However, if you are feeling deep and contemplative and are in the mood for a thinking movie, The Dead Girl is definitly worth your time.

I had deleted this

Well, I had felt like I was done with blogging. Now I guess I'd still like this to be on here so maybe i can get back into it again.

I'm not sure what I should write though. Maybe just a quick summary. My second semester is going well for the most part academically, but I feel more and more cut off. I'm reading a book called Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut and I'm really into it. The more I read from him the more I like. The weather outside seems like a slap in the face because its so bright and sunny but I feel the opposite way. Seeing people outside with a bunch of people makes me that much more sad.

I am trying to be optimistic though and not always complain. I realize that the things I mentioned before are doing just that, but oh well. I have no idea what else to put here so I guess I'm done.

and really what is art?

I have a random thought running through my head right now. Its something I thought about in detail the other night as I was having one of my late night brain blasts. (Normally during such times I have a million thoughts running through my mind. The next day I will try to remember what new revelations I came to but I usually can't recall. The scribblings in my journal sometimes offer help as to what I thought I discovered, but sometimes nothing can be salvaged and all thats left of my amazing new insight is a few floating words on a page that were somehow connected at the time...)

I was pondering about what people in todays day and age really consider art.

The typical responce would be that art is an expression of self, but sometime I feel like art becomes to precise. In some areas a person's use of technique is more important than the product itself, and tends to overshadow the image. In the new millenium we tend to put more emphasis on how well something is done, and not what it means.

I often feel my emotions as if through a magnifying glass. There is no in between for me, and so when I am happy it radiates off of me and when I'm sad its visible to the core. I can feel nothing else. If I don't let it out somehow it just rots there, almost like my feelings are an infection that must leave my body before they make me more ill. When these moments arise for my emotional puking, I just let something out.

Page after page of my journal is filled with nothing more than scribbles that "felt right" when they were put there. I also throw down poorly written stories or poems (or whatever one would call the mass of strange writing that ends up there), that are just terrible when not looked at in that exact moment. I can picture someone like me covering themselves in appropriately colored paint and running full force into a giant canvas to let out how they feel at that moment and actually be able to see it after.

Alot of times I look at what I've written and feel like I can create something "good" out of my mess, as if a reasonable states of mind can improve what I was trying to do. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it just doesn't. But is the pollished, tied together end product really my art, or would it actually be the original, difficult to read, grammatically incorrect rants? Essentially they are the same thing, but are they really?

According to the old sayings, art is an expression of self. I'm not sure if I still think this is true, or if I now art is more focused on perfection and technique. What do people appreciate more? And in th complex realm of art, does that even really matter?

I have no idea, but I am not going to edit what I just wrote. I'm posting it as is, mistakes and all.

books

I talk about books all the time because its hard for me not to. The books I have read have had the biggest impact on my life, easily surpassing any other form of art. I feel like almost everyone finds one type of expression that they connect to more than others. For most people it tends to be music, and probably right after that movies would take over. Both have had an impact on me. But still, nothing can get closer to my heart than reading.

Thats why I end up going on rants about books I've read recently, books I've read in the past, books I would like to read, poets who understand me, what I want to write about...etc. Often times this leads me to suggest others read what I have read, because I think its hard to not want others to share our love or interest for something.

So I suppose I'll take this time to suggest a few books that I love. The order is not necissarily which I like the best, but really more what I would want others to read most. I realize no one will read them, and that no one will care but whatever. I can live with that.

1.    The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer

I read this book for the first time in middle school and immediatly fell in love with it. Even though it is a Young Adult book, there is still a ton of underlying content that is somewhat beyond your years when it is read at that "teeny bopper" stage. I understood it far more when I read it for the second time years later. Since then I've reread parts of the book out of order many, many times. Its probably safe to say that I've read the entire book a third time, though out of order and focusing on parts I feel are most important (or that I enjoy reading most). It is considered science fiction, but not the way that you would expect, this is not a Treky type of book at all. Just trust me. You will like it. Everyone would like some part of this book.

2.     Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel

First I want to point out that the title of this book is not misleading. It really is depressing. But it is a great read because Elizabeth Wurtzel has the ability to put words to feelings that are nonverbal, and often times undescribeable. In my sociology class the other day we talked about how people often don't speak out about their surroundings, feelings, or opinions simply because the words to describe them are unknown. This renders them useless. By reading this book many people have been given the ability to vocalize what they have been feeling, if only by highlighting and quoting the book. Its better than nothing. Anyway, I wouldn't suggest this book to everyone but if you ever did read it just keep in mind how important it is to me.

3.     The Bus Driver Who Wanted to be God by Etgar Keret

The guy who wrote this is a highly acclaimed author that most people don't get. His style is strange and his ideas are confusing. I almost see his writing as being a peice art hanging in an exhibit that you stand back, stare at, think about, and walk away pretending that you get the intended message. Most of the time you don't. His short stories (which are rarely more than two pages) make you think. They have that impact where you tilt your head to the side and go "huh." His longest story was the basis of the movie Wristcutters. I enjoy reading his work and even if you don't it would only take you 5 minutes to read an entire story.

4.     Beautiful Boy by David Sheff and Tweak by Nic Sheff

Theres never a shortage of addiction memoirs, but these two books put it in a new light. First, David Sheff wrote the book Beautiful Boy about his son's addiction. In it, he describes in detail how his son became a meth addict. Its a new take on these memoirs because for once, its from someone's perspective other than the addict themselves. Its through the eyes of his father, who loves him more than anyone in the world. After its publication and success, Nic Sheff (the son the book is about, who, at the time, was clean) was offered a book deal himself. In Tweak, he tells the same story through his own eyes. Its an interesting concept and theres a video here that you can look at to hear it from them.

my writing

It should be no surprise to anyone reading this that I enjoy writing. As far back as I can remember I've always said I wanted to be a writer; in fact, at my elementary school's career day I went as a poet. Now that I've grown up not much has changed, although I do have a more realistic view. I know now that I couldn't handle writing as a career; it would have to be a long time side project for me. Still, at some point I would love to publish a book of my own. Laugh if you want.

The reason I say that last sentence is because my entire life I've had people trying to tell me that I cannot write well. Some of them (like my dreaded middle school English teacher) were rather straightforward about it. I still remember the time he accused me of cheating when I figured out an answer no one else had. He couldn't just say 'good job'. Others, (whose names will not be mentioned - not to be polite but because there are far too many to name) just assume I can't write well. They talk to me as if I don't know anything. I cannot for the life of me figure out why this is or why MANY people talk to me in this way.

Just because I choose not to use my writing skills at times when it’s not needed does not make me stupid. There is no need for me to write elegantly in my personal blog if I don't feel like. I'm not a show off. Yet, I can still write well. At the same time, I actually DO have a fairly extended vocabulary - but in every day conversation there is no need to use it. I admit straight out that I am not the best. Not by a long shot. But when you have something to say, and there is passion behind your writing it doesn't even matter.

I guess I'm writing this in a sorry attempt to shut up the people who always think they're better than me. They need to get over themselves and give credit where credit is due. One of my good friends pointed out that some people get overlooked, and these people usually seek approval for the things they know they are good at. It often times comes off as arrogance. You know what? Fine. I'm not good at much, but I CAN write god damn it.

a song i really like right now

Soundtrack 2 My Life
Kid Cudi

I got 99 problems and they all bitches

Wish I was Jigga Man, carefree living

But I'm not Sean or Martin Louie

I'm the Cleveland nigga rollin' with them Brooklyn boys

You know how hard it be when you start livin' large

I control my own life, Charles was never in charge

No sitcom could teach Scott about the dram

Or even explain the troubles that haunted my mom

On Christmas time, my mom Christmas grind

Got me most of what I wanted, how'd you do it mom, huh?

She copped the toys I would play with in my room by myself, why he by himself?

He got two older brothers, one hood, one good

An independent older sister got me fly when she could

But they all didn't see, the little bit of sadness in me, Scotty

I've got some issues that nobody can see

And all of these emotions are pouring out of me

I bring them to the light for you

It's only right

This is the soundtrack to my life, the soundtrack to my life

I'm super paranoid, like a 6th sense

Since my father died, I ain't been writing since

And I tried to piece the puzzle of the universe

Split an eighth of shrooms just so I could see the universe

I tried to think about myself as a sacrifice

Just to show the kids they ain't the only ones who up at night

The moon will illuminate my room and soon I'm consumed by my doom

Once upon a time nobody gave a fuck

It's all said and done and my cock's been sucked

So now I'm in the cut, alcohol in the wound

My heart's an open sore that I hope heals soon

I live in a cocoon opposite of Cancun

Where it is never sunny, the dark side of the moon

So it's more than life, I try to shed some light on a man

Not many people of this planet understand

I've got some issues that nobody can see

And all of these emotions are pouring out of me

I bring them to the light for you

It's only right

This is the soundtrack to my life, the soundtrack to my life

It's close to go and trying some coke

And a happy ending would be slitting my throat

Ignorance the coke man

Ignorance is bliss

Ignorance is love, and I need that shit

If I never did shows, then I'd probably be a myth

If I cared about the blogs, then I'd probably be a jack-ass

Don't give a shit what people talkin' 'bout fam

Haters shake my hand but I keep the sanitizer on deck

Hope I really get to see 30

Wanna settle down, stop being so flirty

Most of the clean faces be the most dirty

I just need a thoroughbred, cook when I'm hungry

Ass all chunky, brain is insanity

Only things that calm me down, pussy and some Cali trees

And I get both, never truly satisfied

I am happy, that's just the saddest lie

I've got some issues that nobody can see

And all of these emotions are pouring out of me

I bring them to the light for you

It's only right

This is the soundtrack to my life, the soundtrack to my life

...to my life... yeah uhuh yeah

new classes

What's odd is that now that classes have started I am completely bored. Like right now. I'm really just sitting here drinking soda and looking at stupid Facebook. Wow. Either I am doing things non stop (like during vacation), or I am bored. There is no medium. There never is for me.

I can already tell that this semester will be mroe difficult than the last one, but still a lot more boring.

whats an INFP?

It has been a while since I have updated this...again. And I have come here to post something new simply because Debbie suggested I do so. I suppose its worth a shot.

I suppose I will write about something I have found interesting over the past few months. I had taken a personality test in a high school english class once. It was a Jungian style test based on the 16 personality types. After taking it I got the result INFP which seemed irrelevant at the time. Then a few years later I stumbled upon an internet test of the same kind. It too gave me the result INFP. I took it several times on different days, and each time I got the same result. So naturally my interest was peaked, and I began to do my own personal research on what it means to be an INFP.

The site with the most easy to read information was similarminds.com, which is one of the sites where I actually took the test. It lists many quick bullet-like descriptions which almost all seem to describe me perfectly (the only ones that did not were the ones about being late, simply because I am always early). The full description can be seen here. Some of the most accurate of these descriptions were phrases like: "attracted to sad things", "prone to feelings of loneliness","focuses on fantasies ", "daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness", "attracted to the counter culture", and "prone to dreaming about a rescuer".

Some of these are extremely obvious to others, because it is noticeable that I live in a dream world. I feel embarrased when I realize that I have drifted too far into my own head and others have clearly noticed, but this is so commonplace and unavoidable for me that I have had to learn to just brush off the stares. I assume it also seems obvious that I am "attracted to sad things", because just taking a look at my choice of books and movies shows you that I like depressing things. (I often have people tell me that this is "unhealthy", I don't think its wrong to gravitate towards what interests you. So go to hell.)

There are certain descriptions that are far more internal than those listed above though. For example, someone outside my head would not know that I daydream about others to maintain a sense of closeness. Its not something I do on purpose - its not something I even realize I do until after the fact. Its just that for me sometimes its hard to differentitate between whats a fantasy and whats not. The movies I create inside my head are so real seeming to me that sometimes I simply forget, and the line between my mind and reality blur. I sincerely wish that I could control this better, but it doesn't seem possible. Its like its programmed into my being. So for now I have had to make a truce and accept that I am living with a much more eventful life inside my head. And in this alternate life I do daydream about others, and I do daydream about a rescuer.

Other sites go out on a limb and just say stright out that INFP's are the most emotional of any type. Me? Emotional? Pshhh, someone's got it wrong. CLEARLY that is true, as everyone around me knows.  But I guess it feels nice to have something else say it. People who tell me to develop a thicker skin should try to feel my feelings for a day. Then they would shut up, and they wouldn't wonder any more why I develop such strong resentments towards them.

It also points out that I am a loner, which should also not be a surprise to anyone. But it does NOT say that there is anything wrong with that. Everyone needs to be alone sometimes, so people just need it more than others.

To be honest, I'm not sure what I'm getting at here. I just find comfort in writing revealing things like that here. Why? I don't know. Its probably not the best idea, yet here I am posting this anyway. I suppose maybe it can help people get off my back and stop suggesting ways for me to improve myself when there is no problem in the first place.

a long awaited new post

Due to the stresses of school and because my laptop has been battling it out with the IT program and Dell Technical Support, its been a while since I've put anything on here.  I will try to add more to it on a semi-regular basis, but that means that there will probably only be one post a week.  So for now I just wanted to log on to make sure this was up and running and apologize for not updating it.