I give up, so heres some poems

For the past few posts I was doing, it was nothing but movie reviews, just because I wanted to get followers. This is a blog, and that is the point, but I don't know why I would do just movie reviews. Now I'm going to be putting stuff I want on here.

Anyway, lately I've been feeling creative so I've been writing short poems. They arent very good, but I wanted to put them on here because I think its cool to get even a little feed back.

Let me know what you think of them, they are untitled (I'll just give them numbers) unless otherwise specified. I put it in lose order of my favorites.

Also, I was listening to this song while writing some of these, and you may want to listen to it while you read them, even though they are super short. Its the song "Hung Bunny" by the Seattle band Melvins.









1.
Feelings float.
Everything encased.
There is no art -
no one has heart
only explosions losing face


So for those of you that I havent already explained that to, it plays off the expression "saving face". knowing that it may have a different meaning to you.



2010
Surroundings tinted
Maybe just for me
No night or day
Charred routine repeat
Yes, the Mayans lied
But Webers right
Faces closer to hearded cattle
Eyes like diamonds above Seattle


So as far as rhymes and stuff goes, I do not like this one because i think it seems childish. but I put it second because I like its message and references and things. The one that may be confusing is to Weber because its a sociology thing. What I'm referencing here is when he talks about disenchantment. Basically hes saying that society is losing its sense of wonder and stuff like that.



3.
The flood stole
Their homes and hearts
Yet still they drank
Worlds apart
But still the same
Kill and save
In everything

I'm especially interested to see what you get from that one. Think about what water does.





4.
restless ideas racing
rock back and forth
makeing sense of madness
in the aftermath
illness wars
medicate treaties
in their battles beauty
in their relief
time for reflection

Obvious. Just came out and felt right and theraputic.


it would be cool to me if you guys would leave me some feedback and tell me what you think. tell me what you think they are about, which is your favorite, and whether you like them in general or not. my next post (which will be after i get each persons feed back i guess) will be an explanation of what each is about and stuff like that. you may be suprised how much actually is jam packed into such short little nuggets of words.

4 comments:

Joe Luzzi said...

so i guess my favorite is the last one cuz i feel like i understand it the most cuz its about what your going through right now. I can make the most sense of that one more than the others but i think the 3. is about westerly but i dunno what else.... and you already told me what 1. was about. And 2010 is about how everything is falling apart, like you told me and debbie at dinner! (dessert :) )

Debbie said...

don't stress about the followers! just keep writing.

the music is alright. where did you find it?

Sam said...

debbie, the band that song is by is a grunge band. theyre pretty known as far as grunge goes, but its a really small genre mostly from seattle so thats not really saying much. they influenced kurt cobain a lot.

Mel said...

“The flood stole
Their homes and hearts
Yet still they drank”

In times of need humans have the capacity to be made or be broken. Each day we face nature, each other – some will drown and others will build their boats and float above the turmoil.

“Kill and save
In everything”

I love that. A sword is but metal with two edges. But this is a really unique way of saying so...